This month everyone in our house was due for a dentist appointment. My kids love dentist appointments. It always surprises people and it was not always that way. Visiting the doctor, the dentist, dealing with police and things like that are generally discussed with dread or used as a threat and it makes professionals jobs that much harder. I hated the dentist growing up and it was compounded into fact that dentists were awful when I had a horrific experience having my wisdom teeth removed. I waited 8 years to go back, which coincided with my oldests first dentist appointment.
Everyone and I mean everyone leading up to that appointment made sure to tell her how awful dentists were. She was not yet 3. Everyday we got closer the more upset about it she became. It was a lesson in perspective and how early we start telling kids that going to the dentist means you were bad because you did not brush your teeth, going to the doctor because you were bad and got germs and now need medication or you are misbehaving and I will tell the police and they will take you away. The way we discuss appointments kids soak in the same way they soak in the way we talk about our bodies, relationships, money problems and other things we are struggling with. Telling an almost 3 year old the dentist is bad ruins a lifetime of dentist appointments. While I was not excited about my appointment knowing I had cavities and was pregnant, it did not stop me from telling her how excited I was to have my teeth fixed, how nice and clean feeling they would be, how she would get to watch TV with fun sunglasses on and she would get a goody bag after. She rocked that appointment and every one since. When it came time for her siblings appointments as their teeth came in she has been the dentists biggest cheerleader.
Last year she had a fall on the playground and smashed an adult tooth nearly in half. She has gone for x-rays and root testing every three months and she never complains, always thanks the hygienist and smiles while the dentist tells her that her tooth is still healthy even after the trauma. My 3 year old had his first appointment last week and I booked my cleaning for the same time. He climbed up in the chair, the second hygienist came and got me and he waved goodbye and sat quietly through his cleaning and exam by the dentist.
Yes the dentist can be painful, yes it can be scary but when we put down professionals and only focus about that one bad time or one bad dentist we are setting them up for failure with our kids. Are some dentists, doctors and police officers going to be worse at their job than others? Absolutely. Is it possible there will still be bad experiences no matter how positive we are and how well prepared we are? Absolutely. Should we let those appointments and exchanges colour every experience? No. How often do you have a bad experience with a hair dresser? Do you decide I am never getting my hair cut again? Sometimes but we usually end up going back whether to the same person for a second chance or finding someone new who fits our wants better.
Find care professionals you like and remember you can make your childrens first experiences positive by preparing them in a healthy way. Remember the dentist is one of the only places as an adult you still get a goody bag!
Four Squared Motherhood 