I always thought because I had a very tight rein on my emotions that I was strong. I figured I could handle all the things life could throw at me. The thing about life is that it will always humble you. Life is so messy and people like to throw stones, sometimes unintentionally. The Instagram and Facebook posts make everyones life seem near perfect. I’ve seen on a lot of posts that we should not be sharing our frustrations and the negativity because if we focus on the happy we will create a better world or at least not bring down someone elses day. Can I say I always post the hard times? Nope I sure cannot. Like everyone else I want to share the fun and the happy. The thing is when we do that we miss out on this huge conversation. While I truly believe we learn from the happy times and fun experiences, I do not think we learn quite as much from them as from when we struggle.
Those happy and fun times are what provide me with a safe mental space to work through the frustrations, the anger, the sadness and the depression. We can get so lost in the cycle those emotions create that they start to define us. What we choose to do about it is what refines us. Humans are ever changing. Our emotional range is huge. I am not saying that every decision is life altering but on days when I feel like the roof is squeezing me down into my bed and I make the choice to get out of bed and get my kids to school, well that is huge in that moment and it refines how I feel about myself for the rest of the day. The days I choose to stay in bed? Well those refine me as well and not always the same way. Sometimes it means I feel rejuvenated for the extra sleep and sometimes I do not like myself because it feels like a loss. All those things refine me but at no point do they define who I am. They are the tough times and we work through them differently every single time. The decisions we make change us in those moments, whether it is a huge shift or one that is hardly noticeable is completely our perspective. Tomorrow what felt like a loss today could be a huge win and that refines my day.
Your struggles are not my struggles but I do know they do not define you. They are the stepping stones that create the wonderful human being you are. We are ever changing, that means every day you get to pick who that person will be and what parts you choose to refine. Please do not negate someone elses struggles because they are not your own, that person is refining them self as well. Tomorrow that person is different than today and who knows who you will meet.
Four Squared Motherhood 